Why We Can’t Sleep

Ada Calhoun interviewed thousands of Generation-X women across the United States to understand one thing: why are we all struggling so much? What is with this exhaustion, depression, and endless feeling of being stretched too thin?
The answers are complicated and varied, as are the backgrounds and life experiences of the women interviewed. So many of the struggles stem from the same place: the notion that we can “have it all.”
Calhoun’s book is reassuring in the sense that she provides reasons why so many women feel this way, as well as assurance that we aren’t alone. While she does end on a high note, most of her book does not offer advice for improving Gen-X women’s bleak outlook. And during this time of COVID quarantine, I only felt my anxiety rising. Read it for the solidarity–but maybe wait until the global crisis has passed.
This post may include affiliate links. That means if you click and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission. Please see Disclosures for more information.
Publisher’s Description
When Ada Calhoun found herself in the throes of a midlife crisis, she thought that she had no right to complain. She was married with children and a good career. So why did she feel miserable? And why did it seem that other Generation X women were miserable, too? Calhoun decided to find some answers. She looked into housing costs, HR trends, credit card debt averages, and divorce data. At every turn, she saw a pattern: sandwiched between the Boomers and the Millennials, Gen X women were facing new problems as they entered middle age, problems that were being largely overlooked. Speaking with women across America about their experiences as the generation raised to “have it all,” Calhoun found that most were exhausted, terrified about money, under-employed, and overwhelmed. Instead of their issues being heard, they were told instead to lean in, take “me-time,” or make a chore chart to get their lives and homes in order. In Why We Can’t Sleep, Calhoun opens up the cultural and political contexts of Gen X’s predicament and offers solutions for how to pull oneself out of the abyss–and keep the next generation of women from falling in. The result is reassuring, empowering, and essential reading for all middle-aged women, and anyone who hopes to understand them.